


forevermore

by earlgreycoffee



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Character Death, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-04
Updated: 2021-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-17 19:20:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29846253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/earlgreycoffee/pseuds/earlgreycoffee
Summary: Every inch of your body longs for him. Invisible string knotted your soul and his, connecting each part of you that could make him better, and his part that makes you fully whole. At this moment, you feel like heaven envies your relationship with him, and threatened they would break the knot and take him away from you.
Relationships: Levi Ackerman & Reader, Levi Ackerman/Reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 12





	forevermore

**Author's Note:**

> Please don't mind my grammar because English is not my first language. Enjoy!

There are some nights when you are fine with sleeping with yourself– but this night is not that night. You long for someone’s touch– your lover, your significant other. You have prepared yourself for this, accepted it wholeheartedly that most of the night you will face alone yourself without someone. Loving someone is not always as beautiful as rose petals, sometimes thorns pricked your finger and bleed. 

That’s the case for being the lover of humanity’s strongest soldier, Levi Ackerman. Preparing yourself that you will only see him on his day off– which does not happen very often; telling yourself each night that he would make it out alive each time he went to the expedition– and he always keep that promise, with new scars and injuries. But you wouldn’t mind any of it. As long as you can spend your time together with him. It isn’t much, you always want more, but whenever he leaves, he always reassured you: he will be back to you. 

The last time you saw him, it was before he left for taking care of Zeke Yeager, his arch-nemesis. You know it is a tormenting task for him, but he must carry on the order. 

“I will be, my love. Is it what I always do?” 

“You better be, I have bought the finest tea leaf for us to try,” he placed a kiss on your temple.

“I will,” he caught your lips with his, melting into each other for a few moments before he departed. 

One day, Connie gave you a news, that Levi was badly injured. Half of his face was torn down and he lost two of his fingers. You froze upon that news, not having even an ounce of energy to even lift a finger. You muttered polite thank you to Connie, and wished all the Alliance good luck. Tears trickling down from your face like rain falling from the roof. You were terrified of the vision of losing him. You had braced yourself for the worst scenario, but never in your mind you would picture losing him. Not when he always said forever and come back to you. 

Each night passed like dragging your feet at the stony road. You clutched yourself in the corner of your bed. Knees on your chest in attempt of giving yourself slight comfort. Chest tightens and the lump of your throat that getting bigger and bigger and slowly suffocates you from the inside that you could not even draw a single breath properly before even trying. All your body trembled and shivered from the cold– you had wrapped yourself with two layers of blankets, wrapped around Levi’s shirt, to calm yourself by inhaling every hint of his scent. Teeth clattering, head pounding as it will explode anytime. At this moment, you desperately crave Levi’s touch. He will place your head on his chest, patting your shoulder and shooshed you. Drifting you to the dreamland in a blink of an eye. 

This night isn’t different from the other night. You were crying yourself to sleep. Hair tangled mess. Your eyes feel like it is going to pop out from its socket due to the immense amount of crying, but still, tears flowed down like a river escaping a dam. You forgot how to breathe normally. Throat burns from each sharp inhale you had taken for it is almost impossible to breathe. You never thought that loving someone could be this painful– you know, you always do, but this time really puts a reminder that it can wreck you in a flick of a finger. Your mind struggling to keep you as sane as possible, at the same time it crumbles into shattered pieces that are impossible to be put together. Bringing yourself together is the last thing your mind, body, and soul could do for you. Still wrapped yourself in Levi’s shirt and blankets, with your wet pillow caused by streaming tears. 

You swear you felt a gentle touch on your hand, slowly and softly creeping to your cheek. Cool sensation contrasting your heated face. It feels comfortable, nice, and soothing. You dare yourself to turn your back facing whoever did that. 

It was no other than your lover, Levi Ackerman. Half bandaged face, lost an eye and two fingers. 

You propped yourself up, still shocked by the sight before you. Some part of you feel glad, other feel even more wrecked, but the will of holding him is bigger than any other thing you want. So you do, enclosed him on your hands, tears still streaming down your face, you nuzzled your nose on him. He still smelled like the last tea you enjoyed before he left. Inhaling every scent of him like it is the last thing you will get from him. He wrapped his arm around your figure, he patted your head and stroking your (h/c) hair. Goodness, you really long for that. 

“I miss you. I am scared that you left me along here. You know?,” you said between your sobs. 

“I know, that’s why I’m coming for you,” he pushed you gently, taking a look at your face. Streak of tears, red eyes, eyebags, you are not in a condition to welcome him home. You should look beautiful. It’s your lover Levi that we are talking about. Your eyes met his metallic beads. He still looked as fine as you always think he is. You gently run your fingers gently on his bandage, tracing the trail of his bandage. He does not budge, instead, he leaned forward and bringing your hand to his lips. You noticed he lost his fingers, but that does not matter, as long as he is here beside you. 

“You are a mess, why don’t you sleep,” he said touching your face. Eyes full of concerns like when he caught you hiding your pain. Normally, you chuckled and brush it off with a remark. But now, you can’t even think of a word. Mind clouded with the thought of keeping him on your side. 

“I can’t. Not when I heard my lover is badly injured when he promised he will be back in one piece,” you said. He does not reply. Bringing you close to him once more. 

Gently he lays you down on the bed, like when you always spent the night with him. You both do not say anything, just looking at each other, while your hand travelled on his hair, caressing every strand of his hair, ruffle it like you always do. His face. His arm, everywhere it goes, and he does that to you as well. Then he brings you to his chest, you happily obliged to him. His hand always do the wonder to you, whether it only a gentle stroke or his thumb rubbing circles on the side of your head. He planted a kiss on your hair crown. You both stated like that for a length of time that feels like an eternity– at the same time it will be the shortest time of your life to fully able to take all of his presence and store it in you. It is pure bliss. 

“How long can we stay like this,” you asked, looking at his eye. 

“As long as you want,” he replied, holding you even close. You nested your head on the crook of his neck, inhaling him like it is the last thing you will do to him. Every inch of your body longs for him. Invisible string knotted your soul and his, connecting each part of you that could make him better, and his part that makes you fully whole. At this moment, you feel like heaven envies your relationship with him, and threatened they would break the knot and take him away from you. 

**Because that’s what they do.**

“Levi, tell me,” you gathered courage, facing him, for once and eternity. “Are you really here right now with me?”

That question really shocked him, never in his mind that you would ask him a question like that. 

“What do you mean?” still shocked. For the first time since you saw him again, tears threatened to escape from your eyes. 

“Is this the man that I love, the lover of mine, Levi Ackerman?” your voice stiffened, a lump in your throat started to form its shape. 

“Are you here with me, Levi. Please answer me,” one sway of a hand, then you lost in yourself, again. You hear his sigh, long exhale, but still keeping his hand on you. 

“What do you think? Am I here with you?,” his voice is soft, there is no hint of coercion or urge for you to answer that question. A pound in your chest really hits you hard– harder this time. This is the time you feared the most in your relationship. 

“You are,” you say under your breath, “you are with me, Levi,” you said with cracking in your voice. “You are here with me now, tomorrow, the next day, and forever. That’s what you always said to me each time you leave,” denial painted your cracking voice, “you always come back to me, aren’t you?”. 

He does not utter anymore word, but rather bring his hand to your face. You take it and bring it to your lips, kissing the place where his two lost fingers used to be. Then, you lost it again. All strength you had regained for a few moments just crumble down. He cannot bring himself to do any more things to you. The last thing he wants to see is the sight of you breaking down and losing yourself in grieve and agony. 

“Don’t leave,” you said, “just stay here, both of us, is that too much to ask?” apparently, it is. You don’t want him to see you in this wrecked state, you want him to see every best side of you. Even you had to walk tiptoed on the shattered glass to be with him, you will do without a second thought. 

“I won’t,” he said assuringly, “I will always be here” he smiled, wiping your tears away with his thumb. He gently cupped your face on both of his hands. Leaning towards your face and landed on your lips. He tastes like the last drop of finest tea that will always linger in your mouth, It is always amazed by how his lips are perfect for you like those were made for each other. He does not force any movement from you, nor you wanted him to be. It was the most passionate kiss that you shared with him. Both of you do not have any urge to break it, because if you do, you are afraid the world will collide and fall apart. You are his everything, and he is your everything. The last kiss you will share, not as a goodbye, but as a farewell. 

He broke it, slowly and gently. Then looked at you in the eyes. Admiring every single feature of him that you would never witness again. His eyes adorned with love and passion like he always does when looking at you. 

“I’ll always be here, okay?” he landed a quick peck on your temple. You hesitantly nodded. He hold your hands and caressing them. 

“Want me to put you to sleep?” you gently nodded. He opened his arms to you that you happily come to. It feels so real, to have him by your side like this. His fingers trails gentle touch on your back, patted it in between. Lip on your crown. You wished for this moment to never end. 

“I love you,” you said, for one last time to him. You feel his genuine smile. “Forevermore,” with that, you drifted away from your consciousness slowly. Neither of you wishes this moment to ever end.

“I love you too, dear lover of mine,” he said, “sleep well, I’ll keep watching you. 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you really enjoy it.


End file.
